The anniversary. A measure of the passage of time, a mark on the road of life that tells you to stop, look back, take stock, be thankful, set new goals. I have reached my one year anniversary with WordPress – one year of blogging about the fantasies in my mind, the stories in my imagination, the seductions, and the life that I wanted to live, rather than the life I had been living.
A playful writing exercise that took many twists and turns – erupting in moments of sensual bliss, the line of reality and fantasy at times blurred until they were hopelessly indistinct; like a tangle of limbs and sex-scented sheets.
What a year it has been.
Along the way strangers became friends, friends became lovers, and lovers became strangers once again. I find myself alone on the precipice of a future that waits for me to sketch its shape, fill in its textures, colors, and details. Pieces are still missing, elements are still being missed, benchmarks are falling short, there is much work to do. But as I mark the passage of the last year, I remember many moments, simple and profound, that touched me. Moments that shaped my blog, moments I recorded disguised carefully as puppets of a different color.
I think this year will be more honest. More reality, less fantasy. Whether or not the sex continues to pour from my keyboard remains to be seen. There are times lately, when sex is the last thing on my mind. When all I can feel is the pain, the drive to push myself harder, the sting of my own whip as I punish myself for mistakes.
And yet there are also times when the desires and urges that drive me to write, to touch, to feel, to fuck, are so overwhelming there is no room for anything else in my existence.
Can solace be found in the skin of a stranger? Can emotional needs be met from a distance? Can that razor’s edge be walked without being cut to ribbons? Time will tell. And a year from now, upon the cusp of another anniversary, we will see if the Pussy and Heart have indeed learned to exist in harmony.
Until then my loyal readers and friends I remain,